To Change or Not To Change?

In the precontemplation stage of change, an individual does not intend to take action in the near future. In this sphere, the near future is defined as the next six months, which is how far in advance a person plans when making a change. This does not mean an individual doesn’t want to change. The key words are want to change and not intend to change.

Change isn’t free. It costs time, effort, and the risk of failure. Change doesn’t come naturally. It requires hard work and comes with resistance. Behaviors or habits surround themselves with walls. A person must first become aware of these walls in the precontemplation stage of change. The first wall is simply not knowing, how to change or that the behavior is harmful and change is needed. The next wall is a result of wanting to change but after repeated unsuccessful attempts, feeling defeated, demoralized, and uncertain about your ability. With two walls in place, the final wall goes up rather effortlessly to form a triangle of defense. Defensive behavior can take the inward forms of withdrawing, going silent, disattending, or internalizing, and the upward forms of projecting, displacing, or explaining through rationalizing or intellectualizing. Regardless of the defense method, the common mission is to protect independence, and sadly at any cost.

With a strong fortress protecting behaviors or habits, the strongest plan of attack for change is one by one. Research has shown an attack on one is an attack on all. The first and most likely highest hurdle to clear in the stages of change is becoming aware a change is desired. If you find yourself wanting to make a change, congratulations, you have completed the biggest step. In order to move out of the precontemplation to contemplation stage of change, one must fuel themselves with benefits for the change. The next part of the journey requires the pros of change to outweigh the cons of change by two. In other words for every con, there needs to be two pros. Using the previous analogy, think of the cons as those defensive walls and the pros as the special forces who will climb those walls to first knock holes in them but ultimately knock those walls down.

You need to rally the troops in order to build your army of pros. A good starting point is making a well-being wish list, for example, I wish to reduce cravings for smoking, so I reduce the risk of heart disease, and help my loved ones worry less about my health. You might notice a ripple effect in your well-being wish list. One small step can build enough momentum to propel you forward.

Be well,

Sarah